Falling

     Why do they call it "falling" in love?  I realize that neither one is planned, but do you want to know what I think?  Falling hurts, and you run the risk of causing immeasurable damage.  Like breaking a bone, sure it'll eventually heal but it will never be the same.  You'll be reminded of that as it aches on cold nights.
     What about keeping the secret of falling?  You're the only one that can feel the pain, and each time you see that reason you fell in the first place, it's all the more real.  Your mind is screaming all the things you want to say but you hear yourself mumbling mundane sentences.  You wonder if they can see your heart pounding in your chest, or your thoughts racing.  Then, when you're finally alone and surrounded by silence you imagine all the scenarios that could've taken place.
     They don't even realize it, the fact that someone's heart is in their hands, that someone's emotions depend on their simple words.  They are just living their life, unaware they are being haunted by your unspoken truth.  That's what I believe it is, you're both being haunted.
     Falling in love is powerful, but sometimes it is so powerful that it is capable of releasing it's own entity.  This entity keeps you up at night, it fills your head with fear and doubt, it tortures you.  What about the one who is unaware?  That's a little different.  They know something is in the air, especially when you're around, you may even pop up in their thoughts and dreams and they won't know why.
     So why not just tell them and clear the air?   Let me explain it like this, when you meet someone so incredible, I'm not talking about someone who is attractive, smart or funny, those are all nice things, but someone who seemed to grasp your entire being in their glance and held it until you began to question your own existence, you can't lose that.  Sure we run the risk of feelings not being shared, but so much more is at risk.
     When you meet someone who has made you doubt if anything that has happened in your life, up until that moment, even mattered, losing them would seem to make everything from that point on, just, nothing.  Remember that broken bone? Well it would be like irreversible nerve damage, you'll never feel anything the same again, your spirit is broken, that's the immeasurable damage I'm talking about.  Keeping those feeling are difficult but right now, they are still mine.  Except for you reading this, I've told no one.  If I were to verbalize it, I don't even know if I would do it justice, how do you describe something so deep and powerful?  How do you describe the human soul and what it is capable of without cheapening the magnificence of it all?